Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
What do you call a famous inmate? A cellebrity.
What's an prisoners favorite battery? Duracell Why are inmates so angry all the time? Cause they have bad cell service.
Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged.
Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A convict.
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
What's an inmates favorite fishing equipment? Jail bait.
How do people stop being crooks? They straighen themselves out!
What's an inmates favorite place to hangout? At the bars.
What distinction does OJ hold in jail? He's the first inmate with a retired number.
What's an inmates favorite food? Cellery.
What's a prisoners favorite building materials? Steal n cement.
How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
Why do prisoners have PTSD? Cell Shock.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
What do you give prisoners for dessert? Jaily-Beans.
Where can you find a bunch of clowns who deserve to be in jail? Silly Con Valley.
Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.
Why is Facebook like jail? You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you really don't know.
Why can't inmates read a clock? Because it's hard time.
What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mug shot? A cellfie.
Why was the parrot in prison? Because it was a jail-bird.
A prisoner was released from jail, he shouted "Yay I'm free I'm free!" A little boy yelled "So what I'm 4 I'm 4!"