I could borrow the step-stool from my mom, OR i could go buy something taller.
I prefer the ladder.
What did E.Ts mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?"
Stuck on what to get your Mum for Mother's Day?
Get her a fridge and watch her face light up as she opens it.
My mother asked me if my dog was good
I said “Yeah. And my hot dog isn’t bad either.”
These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
Momorial Day
Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
Theres always missing parent.
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
My mother likes to tell people when I was little that I told her I loved her alphabet soup.
I didn’t, she just likes putting words in my mouth.
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
I had a real problem when your mom got rid of that crooked chair my dad made.
I don't know why, it just never sat right with me.
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...
Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should of seen her face when I drove pasta.
Ignore your mother's bad joke, son...
It's a faux pa.
How can you tell if a tree is older than your mother?
It'll be covered in grandmoss.
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon.
My mom is a metalurgist
I asked her the other day: "Which metal do you prefer to work with? Gold or silver?"
She said: "Either ore."
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
She's my aunt
My mom said I have no sense of direction
So I packed my bags and right
I'm so glad our Billy inherited his mother's intelligence
...and I got to keep mine.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
My mom told me to stop singing "Im a Believer" because it was annoying.
At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face.
What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?
"I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond."
A mother mountain says to her moody teenage mountain “don’t you give me that altitude!!”