My exotic bird challenged me to a game of chess
I told him, "Toucan play at that game."
What is the favorite chess move of ants with bladder problems?
En pissant.
I've recently got a job making chess pieces.
I'm mostly working knights.
I was watching a chess champion vs a boxing champion match.
The chess player had a mean right rook!
What's a chess player's favourite starter?
Pawn cocktail.
An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"
He said "Cheque , mate."
My last chess game went a bit medieval.
We both went for the castle.
"Reti or not, here I come!"
What did one pirate say to the other when he beat him in chess.
Check matey!
When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.
Classic rook-y mistake.
I left chess club early this week.
I was just so board.
"Come follow me and I will make you a Fischer of men."
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did Michael Jackson say to his chess opponent?
“It don’t matter if you’re black or white.”
"Check, mate."
"Checkmate."
"Hey! Can I get the check, mate?!?"
What do chess players from the Czech Republic call their friends?
Czech-mates.
I like playing chess with old people in the park, but it gets hard to find 32 of them each time.
Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What do you call a girl who's very good at human chess and checkers?
Ingrid.
What did the Australian Chess player say about the mouldy bread?
"Stalemate."
I don't know where I put my queen after the last chess game.
Maybe she's lost I need to check.
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about how they won in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
I went on a date with a Chess World Champion the other night.
It took her about 10 minutes to pass the salt.
My favourite piece in chess is the rook
It is the most straight-forward.
Where do chess grandmasters keep their pet snakes?
In a chesst.