How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
How hot does your gas oven get?
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
You're the thought that counts!
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
You look like trash, may I take you out?
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
How much will $20 get me?
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
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