I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
You're the thought that counts!
Hey baby, you got any diseases? Want some?
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
I dreamt about you. You died.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
How hot does your gas oven get?
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
I'd drink your bathwater.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
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