You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
I'd drink your bathwater.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
You're the thought that counts!
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
I dreamt about you. You died.
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Are you a human? Just making sure.
You look a lot like my next victim.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
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