"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes."
Don Kardong
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
“Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.”
- Paul Reiser.
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
Steven Wright
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.” —Craig Ferguson
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”
— C.S. Lewis
“The only thing that kids wear out faster than shoes is their parents.”
- John J. Plomp.
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”
Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey)
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's."
- Clyde Moore
"What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."
- Cindy Garner.
"There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach." — Barbara Hower
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
“Twinkle twinkle sleepy star, wake up now it’s the 11th hour, up above the world so high, the sun has risen in the sky.”
– Mickey Nice
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
“In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” - Rita Rudner
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.”
- Martin Mull.
I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.
Jarod Kintz
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
"It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
― Germany Kent
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
Bill Murray
“Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go ‘you know, I’m not as hungry as thought I was’?”
“You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.” —Dylan Brody
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts, don’t worry; you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.”
– Unknown
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. -- Mark Twain
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
"What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it."
- Charles Dudley Warner
"A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
- A. A. Milne
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose more money than any single person in your life with the possible exception of your kids."
― Harvey Mackay
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”
- Charlotte Gray.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
Go to BabaMail
