"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs."
- Fran Lebowitz
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry." — Rita Rudner
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Gardeners know the best dirt.”
— Anonymous
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
- Steve Martin
“I do Yoga to relieve stress… Just kidding I drink wine in yoga pants.” — Anonymous
“I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.”
— Unknown
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
- Richard Diran
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.”
— Arnold H. Glasgow
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
“A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp.”
– Raymond Duncan
"It's a hill. Get over it."
From a runner's T-shirt
“To make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect you just have to care enough and be there.”
— Unknown
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
Anthony Burgess
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Sorry for what I said before I yoga-ed.” – Unknown
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
"Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read."
– Raymond Carver
"There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
Gabrielle Zevin
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”
This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.
Winston Churchill
"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
"Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position." — Christopher Marlowe
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”
- Charlotte Gray.
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions rather than jumping to them.” – Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face."
- Teresa Watkins
“Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”—Mae West
“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
— Punit Ghadge
“A good friend will always stab you in the front.”
— Oscar Wilde
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.”
- Jack Handey
“I would say that the hardest thing about being a parent is these goddamned kids.”
- Andy Richter.
“I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.” – Wendy Liebman
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” —Paula Poundstone
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children." – Clarence Day
Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
Bernard M. Baruch
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
Go to BabaMail
