“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
- Dorothy Parker.
"I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me."
— Unknown
“Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer’s day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented.”
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
Bob Hope
I have Alzheimer’s bulimia – first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke.
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
“I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”
Damien Fahey
“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
– Mark Twain
“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” —Oscar Wilde
“Stupid people will mistake your confidence for arrogance.”
- Habeeb Akande
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
“A little bit of summer is what the whole year is all about.”
– John Mayer
“Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.”
- Buddy Hackett.
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
“Aries: You can't handle me even if I came with instructions.”
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"A Taurus always appears to be calm and steady, even when they feel like punching you in the face."
— Unknown
“You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.”
—P. J. O’Rourke
“I think there should be holy war against yoga classes.” — Werner Herzog
"Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
- Plato
"The term “tax humor” is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
— John F. Lekel
“Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these word: Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
Polish Proverb
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”—Orlando Aloysius Battista
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
“During summer vacation, you get to do all your favorite things; cook hot dogs over a campfire (while being eaten alive by mosquitoes).”
– Bruce Lansky
“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warm.”
- Alfred North Whitehead.
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is because they have a common enemy.” - Anonymous
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
"People should fall in love with their eyes closed."
- Andy Warhol
"Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one." – Fran Lebowitz
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” — Red Skelton
“Three things that never lie: Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants.” – Unknown
"Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position." — Christopher Marlowe
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
I’m sure wherever my dad is he’s looking down on us… he’s not dead… just very condescending.
Jack Whitehall
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
Denis Waitley
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
Go to BabaMail
