"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“When in doubt, yoga it out.” – Unknown
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“Summer vacation: where you drink triple, see double and act single.”
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Size isn’t everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.”
- Bill Vaughan.
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’”
– Robin Williams
“Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I’m having problems you are always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you are always there. Let’s face it. You are bad luck.”
— Unknown
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
Al Gore
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
Claude Pepper
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
"Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons."
- Dave Barry
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” - George Burns
"Women love a self-confident bald man."
- Larry David.
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
– Scott Adams
My favorite outdoor activity is the short walk back inside.
“Taurus: Lazy rule number 39: Can't reach it, don't need it.”
"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
“Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental facility.”
— Unknown
“Aquarians are sort of unorthodox, original people — sort of wack, witty mad-caps who refuse to follow the crowd and go their own way.”
— Joanna Martine Woolfolk
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” —Dave Barry
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
Bill Watterson
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
"In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” — Rita Rudner
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.”—Kathy Mohnke
“The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.”
- Valeriu Butulescu.
“Yoga is 99% waste removal” — T.K.V Desikachar
“Apologizing in advance for the things I say this winter.”
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