Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
Man: What do math and my dick have in common? They're both hard for you
Woman: You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Are you a pulmonary embolism? Because you take my breath away.
Are you from South England? Cause you Brighton up my day.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Sorry, I can't play hide and seek. Someone like you is simply impossible to find.
I want you. I knead you.
I was so amazed by your beauty that I had to run to the wall over there. So, I need to get your number and name to claim my insurance.
Hey girl, I can't wait to see your body - of Christ.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little love right now.
Can you feel that universal energy flowing from me to you?
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
I’m like the smell of chlorine – I’ll never leave you.
Do you like wine?
Because that's all your doing.
Man: I've lost my phone number can I have yours?
Woman: Sure, my number is 911-8473 (works better if you write it down)
You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.
Are you an overdue book? Because you have fine written all over you!
Are you a flower? Because I'd love it if you planted one on me.
Baby, you can drive my car if we let it be.
You must be my coronary artery because you’re wrapped around my heart.
Did you know I'm the Ronaldo of lovers?
You must be the North Star because the light around you guided me here.
Brianna-st, on a scale of 1-10, how perfect was that pun?
Are those space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
As a baseball player, I know my way around the bases.
You're so cute I could bottle you up in a mason jar.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Juno.
Juno who?
Juno I love you, don't you?
May I have your number, so we stop being strangers?
You’re a perfect ten(t).
If I had Jack Sparrow's compass, it'd be pointing at you.
You make me want to Twist and Shout
Driftin with an attractor like you, baby, is always 'drag free'.
Someone said you were looking for me.
Money can't buy me love but it can buy you a drink
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
If you were a puck, I'd never shoot. Because I would always miss you.
Are you Australia? Cause your geographical location is hot.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
We may be two ships that pass in the night, but I must have your number before you Ceylon.
I’ve never seen stars as beautiful as your eyes.
Is this the bus stop?
Because I'm here to pick you up!
Do you get a hint of almond in this Keemun? No? That’s odd because I’m nuts about you.
Are you a lexicographer? Because you make my life more meaningful.
Are you a pranayama teacher? Because you just took my breath away.
I am sure it is not this jog, you definitely just took my breath away.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
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