“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
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