“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
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