“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
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