"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
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