"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu