"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown