"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
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