They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
"You deserve better and so do I."
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
You looked better when I was drunk.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
We're donion rings.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
I think we need to become better strangers.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
"My cat doesn't like you."
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.