Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
You looked better when I was drunk.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
We're donion rings.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
"It's not me, it's you!"
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
I think we need to become better strangers.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
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