Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
I think we need to become better strangers.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We should make like your parents and split.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
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