If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.