What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.