Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.