What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!