What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.