What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.