What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.