Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.