What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.