Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea