What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!