What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.