A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.