What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!