My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.