My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.