What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.