I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
What do crows read? Cawmics.
I saved a tiny baby crow and now he won't leave, I guess you could say he's mi-cro.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow