My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.