Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.