Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.