Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.