Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.