Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.