What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash