What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.