Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.