What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.