What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.