Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.