What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.