What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.