What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.