What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.